Raising Kids To Fit In <DANGER!>
As I’ve shared in the last 2 blarticles <blog+article=blarticle> of this series, I believe raising kids to fit in keeps children from understanding that who they are is not only okay, but absolutely perfect! An important distinction I want to make is between fitting in and belonging.
I believe fitting in is about being like everyone else. Whether it’s wearing your hair the same, buying the right clothes, having the right phone or gaming system etc. Way too many kids aren’t allowed to be themselves for fear of how they will compare to others. Somehow blending in makes more sense in our world. Don’t draw attention to yourself is more important than be yourself.
Belonging on the other hand is about being accepted for who you are. When you belong, you don’t need to change to be like anyone. You simply get to be YOU. I believe this is inclusive with a sense of diversity as a strength versus something that needs changing.
I know a common thought is that when kids “fit in” then they’re less likely to stand out and get bullied or picked on. Ultimately, adults don’t want kids to be hurt by comments or actions of others. But what I believe and have seen is that sometimes the very messages adults are giving kids to keep them from being hurt, hurts them even more deeply than a comment or action of a peer.
Not because of a lack of love – I certainly know my parents love(d) me deeply!
And I have not met a parent who does not love their child!!
But my parents not knowing how to best support me, or understanding the importance of giving me the message it was okay to be me, helped create an inner dialogue that doesn’t serve me any longer. Just as this happens to many kids today.
I believe kids need to learn who they are. (You mean who I am is not what I do?)
Kids need to know that who they are matters. (Often even young children already have an inner dialogue running in their heads about how they aren’t good enough, like the little guy I described in the 1st of this series. 1st of the 3 part series on Raising Kids to Fit In
Kids need to learn strategies to deal with comments from peers or adults.
Kids need to learn how to set boundaries with people who don’t honor who they are and be empowered to do this.
These are just a few ways I believe we can help kids avoid the need to fit in. I would love the opportunity to support you and your child with those and many more ways I’ve learned effectively help kids.
This isn’t about fixing kids or parents ~~ this is about support to move forward in a way that allows for more authenticity, freedom, acceptance, confidence, connection and love! Please contact me now to learn about my programs where I can help your child believe they are extraordinary just as they are! Every child deserves to grow up believing this!!
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Thanks so much in advance for helping me share my message!