As we here in WI have hit a cold stretch in the middle of our long winter, with it many kids are hitting the peak of the boredom blues. “There’s nothing to do.” “I’m bored.” “I can’t do anything.” Surely these words are being echoed in various ways by kids of all ages in many homes.

While many are still choosing to stay home and do less because of various Covid restrictions, there certainly might be some truth to the inability to go do things.

Parents can choose to stay in the battle of explaining options of things kids can do and sharing perspectives of how lucky kids are to have all they are blessed with.

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“I’m too anxious to do that.” “I can’t do that because I’m so nervous.” “I was so mad I just couldn’t do it.” “Her anxiety took over and she couldn’t go.” “His anxiety kept him from joining.” “She froze because of her fears and I couldn’t do anything then because I felt so badly for her.”

Do any of these sound familiar? In my opinion, in each of these situations, someone is giving too much power away to a feeling. And although I 100% believe in being aware of how we feel and honoring that feeling, I also believe as strongly that we can learn not to become victim to our feelings.

How do we honor a feeling and not give our power away to it?

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One of the greatest gifts we are given is the ability to choose our response to events, people and situations that instill fear in us. Although it takes practice to utilize this gift and doesn’t mean we don’t experience uncomfortable feelings. Still the opportunity is present for each of us. There is great freedom in being able to choose how we handle fearful news, situations or people.

Fear has the ability to freeze our brain. Literally. When in a state of fight or flight, we aren’t able to fully process things that are said, perceptions shared, potential threats, situations we enter. Instead of being able to make decisions, many times we simply react. It is really easy to notice other people reacting.

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Kids are feeling so disconnected. And they don’t realize it on many levels. Yes, they realize (for many) they can’t see their friends. They realize (for many) they can’t go to school. Still, there is too much busy-ness. Constant looking for things to DO. Not enough quiet time. Stillness. Time simply BEing.

Why is this needed now more than ever?

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Words. They hold tremendous power – and the effects can last a lifetime. Whether spoken. Thought. Written. Typed. Texted.

How do kids learn this? Well, usually we try to “teach” through consequences, right!? Say mean things to a sibling or to parents and kids lose privileges. Get grounded.

But did they really learn anything about the power of words this way?

“I hate you soooo much! You always get me in trouble with your crying and tattling! God! I JUST HATE YOU!”

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“If you shield a mountain from the windstorms, you’ll never see the beauty of the carvings.”

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

I thought this quote was a good perspective for parenting. Often times parents want to keep their kids from making “mistakes” or “poor choices” ~ windstorms in their own right. Whether these are with friends, school, temptations, boyfriends, girlfriends, sports or other areas of life, it seems to become most parents’ mission to shield their kids from these.

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April 24th, 2019 a fire destroyed the building my office was in. Everything was lost in the fire, while thankfully everyone is safe. I don’t believe things happen to punish us. I believe very much that what we focus on expands and what we put out into the world, comes back to us. With that being said, I know bad things still happen. But good can come from loss.

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